Chances are that you answered yes to all three questions. That’s life. Sometimes even after we put in our best effort and prayed hard, things just don’t go our way in the end. Every human being who has ever lived on this planet has had the same kind of experience. The rich, the poor, the successful, the not-so-successful, the good, the bad, the winners, the losers… they all went through the same journey. But what separates the winners and the losers is how they respond to it.

There are two different ways to respond to what had happened to you. You can choose to:

1. Live a life of deliberate creation; or
2. Live a life of chain reaction.

If you are not happy with your job, you can choose to react to it by complaining about it, feeling frustrated about it, getting annoyed by your managers or, worse still, being rude towards your customers. Even if you channel your reaction towards everything that happened to you at work, you’re still not changing the fact that you’re working at a job that you’re not happy about. As one thing leads to another, you will continue to wind down the negative spiral and making things even worse for you personally. On the other hand, you can choose to create a completely new situation by voicing out your concern to the right authority about your dissatisfaction, understanding the culture and adapting yourself to it or, better still, quit that job for one you’re happy about.

If you are unhappy in your marriage, don’t react towards your spouse as if everything is his/her fault. Create new experiences, new understanding, or perhaps a new relationship with each other!

Life itself is a creation. Every moment we are alive is an opportunity for new creation. Reacting to something is a complete waste of your time now for what you have done in the past. Most people who failed to achieve great success are those who react towards life, circumstances, events, people and basically everything around them. They let life push them around instead of pushing back and live life. That’s why they are the greatest complainers, whiners, blamers, justifiers, excuse makers, and they make almost all of those 55 famous alibis! Whenever you offer them a new opportunity to break free from their dissatisfaction, they will automatically think with their “but”.

Embrace the attitude of being in creation, not reaction. Create new possibilities for new outcomes. Life will continue to throw us challenges and alter our paths along the way. Keep creating. If you react to every event that life brings about, you will end up walking the path that was not designed by you, but by those events, circumstances, people and things that you don’t like. Being in reaction means you’re giving away your power of directing your own life; and you’re giving away that power to those events, circumstances, people and things that you don’t like. In short, you don’t own your life. They do. But if you embrace the attitude of being in creation instead, you will take all those challenges as stepping stones and continue stepping into the direction of your dream. Being in creation means you have control and power over how your life should be, will be and must be. In short, you own your own life.

“It is in your moment of decision that your destiny is shaped.”

—Anthony Robbins

Choose wisely how you would respond to life from now on. Make sharp decisions. Live life with passion!

Further reading

• How To Have All Your Wishes Come True
• Do Pain And Pleasure Use You?
• Take Action!
• What I Saw At The Graveyard
• Dying Professor’s Last Lecture

Making New Year’s resolutions have become a traditional routine that people do at the end of every year. But how often did we have a resolution that lasts through 3 months into the new year?

Here’s an Easy, Effective and Enriching way to make a New Year’s resolution that sticks like super glue! This kind of New Year’s resolution has “width” and “depth” built into it, and it will empower you to take actions all year long.

Watch this short video that shows you how.

Further reading

• Do Pain And Pleasure Use You?
• Take Action!
• How To Have All Your Wishes Come True
• Do It Anyway
• Do You Think With Your BUT?

When you have set the desired thermal range and the temperature in the room approaches the edge of your desired thermal range, the thermostat sends an electrical signal to the air-conditioner to turn it on or off. As the temperature in the room begins to change, the electrical signals continue to respond to the changes and keep the temperature within the desired range.

Eventually, the room temperature always remains at the thermal range you have set.

Your comfort zone works the same way too.

But instead of electrical signals, your internal performance regulator uses discomfort signals to keep you within your comfort zone. In fact, you have an internal psychological thermostat that regulates your level of performance in the world—and governs everything you do, want and have.

Think of your comfort zone as a prison—a large, self-created prison.

It consists of the collection of can’ts, don’ts, musts, must nots and other disempowering and limiting beliefs formed from all the negative thoughts and decisions you have accumulated and reinforced during your lifetime.

As your behaviour or performance begins to approach the edge of that zone, you begin to feel uncomfortable. To avoid the discomfort, you unconsciously pull yourself back into your comfort zone.

• Some people are comfortable as long as they have $1,000 in their savings account. Some are uncomfortable unless they have 6 months’ income put aside (say, $24,000). Still, some are comfortable with no savings at all plus a credit card debt of $25,000!
• Some people are comfortable with staying in a budget inn when they go travelling. Some are only comfortable with a 3-star hotel or above. Some are only comfortable staying in a 5-star or above.
• Some people are comfortable with long hair. Some are comfortable with short hair. There are also some who are totally uncomfortable with no hair!
• Some people are uncomfortable with being late, but we all know there are some who are totally comfortable with being late.

When you are not comfortable with the way things are, you will do something about it. You will request for a better arrangement, demand for a replacement, negotiate, bargain… anything. You will do something about it.

The fact that you have never done something about it shows that you have already conditioned yourself to be OK with what is. For so many times, we have sold ourselves short, tolerated with mediocrity in life, accepted a lower standard than what we deserve… convincing ourselves that “it’s OK”.

Here’s an example:

A salesperson had a goal to present his services to at least 3 prospects a day. If he upheld his thermostat at that level, he would be comfortable as long as he had presented to 3 people on any given day. If he had not presented to 3 people by evening, he would probably go meet people at night just to be comfortable with his goal. Likewise, if he had met 3 people in the morning, he would probably slack off for the entire day.

Let’s say he had a colleague, who didn’t stand firm on his thermostat and accepted mediocrity as his standard. He also had a goal to present to 3 people a day. One day, he was only able to meet 2 people by the end of the day. He then told himself, “It’s OK. 2 is better than none. It’s still not bad.” That moment, he had allowed himself to accept something less than he wanted to achieve. Soon, he would be comfortable with just meeting 2, 1 or no prospects on any given day. When he had been accustomed to that new but low standard for himself, it then becomes harder for him to reset his standard back to meeting 3 people a day as that would become uncomfortable for him for it is outside of his comfort zone.

Therefore, we must always be aware of the comfort zone we have unconsciously set for ourselves for all areas of our life. If you’re not happy with the way things are in your life, do something about it. Don’t let fear pin you down to inaction. Start doing something… anything. Just get up and get going. Just take action!

You only have one life.
Make it the best you’ve ever had.

Further reading

• How To Have All Your Wishes Come True
• Do Pain And Pleasure Use You?
• Take Action!
• What Is Your Life Metaphor?
• What I Saw At The Graveyard

Here’s the real meaning of: Satisfaction

In Latin, the word satis means “enough”. Combine satis-of-action (enough of action) and you get satisfaction. Now you know clearly that enough action ultimately produces satisfaction.

Quit Waiting

It’s time to quit waiting for:

• perfection
• inspiration
• permission
• reassurance
• approval
• acceptance
• someone to change
• something to change
• someone to buy from you
• the right person to come along
• the kids to leave home
• a better feng shui
• a better horoscope prediction
• the fear to disappear
• the risk to disappear
• someone to discover your talent
• instructions
• more self-confidence
• more courage
• the pain to go away
• the right timing
• the next New Year
• your spouse to get in the mood
• the next promotion
• the next increment
• the perfect customer to come by
• your downlines to change
• your siblings to apologise
• the interviewer to call
• your surroundings to change
• someone to understand your situation
• luck
• the next big break
• your mood to change

Just stop waiting and move on already.

Quit waiting for the next raise to afford that downpayment. Start doing something now to get you closer to affording it. Quit waiting for your mood to change to start doing something. Start doing something to get yourself in the mood. Quit waiting for that uncertain promotion from your boss. Ask him/her what does it take for you to get that promotion and start acting on it already. Quit waiting for another New Year’s Eve to start creating your resolutions. Start with one of your biggest goals and start taking actions towards it already.

Nobody says it better than Nike does:

Note: If you’re concerned about being judged by others, read this.

Further reading

• Do Pain And Pleasure Use You?
• How To Have All Your Wishes Come True
• Do You Have The Power To Own Your Own Life?
• How To Make A New Year’s Resolution That LASTS!
• Do You Think With Your BUT?

“When you’re 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you; when you’re 40, you don’t give a darn what anybody thinks of you; when you’re 60, you realize nobody’s been thinking about you at all.”

Surprise, surprise! Most of the time, nobody’s thinking about you at all!

They are too busy worrying about their own lives, and if they are thinking about you at all, they are wondering what you are thinking about them!

People think about themselves, not you.

All the time you are wasting worrying about what other people think about your ideas, your goals, your clothes, your hair, and your home could all be better spent on thinking about and doing the things that will achieve your goals.

Further reading

• Do Pain And Pleasure Use You?
• Our Time On Earth
• Do You Have The Power To Own Your Own Life?
• How To Have All Your Wishes Come True
• How To Make A New Year’s Resolution That LASTS!

“It’s a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much,” he said. “Let me tell you something that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities. You see, one day I sat down and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and came up with 3,900, which is the number of Sundays that the average person has in his lifetime.

“It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail,” he continued, “and by that time I had lived through over 2,800 Sundays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy.”

He went on to explain that he bought 1,000 marbles and put them in a clear plastic container in his favourite work area at home. “Every Sunday since then,” he said, “I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There’s nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight.”

Then the older gentleman finished, “Now let me tell you one last thought before I sign off and take my lovely wife out to breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure if I make it until next Sunday, then I have been given a little extra time.”

We can’t choose whether we will get any more time, but we can choose what we do with it. You write your own destiny. Make the most of the time and talent that God gives you.

Further reading

• What I Saw At The Graveyard
• How To Have All Your Wishes Come True
• Push Back & Live Life
• Do Pain And Pleasure Use You?
• The 18/40/60 Rule Of Life

We must be very careful about the metaphors we allow ourselves to use. Be careful of the metaphors that other people offer you as well.We must take charge of our metaphors, not just to avoid the problem metaphors, but so that we can adopt the empowering metaphors as well.

The scary part is that most of us have never consciously selected the metaphors with which we represent things to ourselves. Where did you get your metaphors? You probably picked them up from people around you, from your parents, teachers, co-workers and friends. Have you ever thought of the impact these metaphors has on you? Have the metaphors just became a habit?

For years, people asked me what it was I did exactly. At various times I tried different metaphors—”I’m a teacher,” “I’m a student,” “I’m a hunter of human excellence,” “I’m a speaker,” I’m a national best-selling author,” “I’m a peak performance consultant,” “I’m a therapist,” “I’m a counselor”—but none of them conveyed the right feeling. People gave me plenty of metaphors. I was known by many in the media as a “guru.” This is a metaphor I avoided because I felt that the presupposition that went with it was that people were dependent upon me to create their change—which would never empower them. Since I believe that we all must be responsible for our own change, I avoided this metaphor.

One day, though, I finally got it. “I’m a coach,” I thought. What is a coach? To me, a coach is a person who is your friend, someone who really cares about you. A coach is committed to helping you be the best that you can be. A coach will challenge you, not let you off the hook. Coaches have knowledge and experience because they’ve been there before. They aren’t any better than the people they are coaching (this took away my need to have to be perfect for the people I was “teaching”). In fact, the people they coach may have natural abilities superior to their own. But because coaches have concentrated their power in a particular area for years, they can teach you one or two distinctions that can immediately transform your performance in a matter of moments.

Sometimes coaches can teach you new information, new strategies and skills; they show you how to get measurable results. Sometimes a coach doesn’t even teach you something new, but they remind you of what you need to do at just the right moment, and they push you to do it. I thought, “What I truly am is a success coach. I help to coach people on how to achieve what they really want more quickly and more easily.” And everyone needs a coach, whether it’s a top-level executive, a graduate student, a homemaker, a homeless person, or the president of the United States! As soon as I started using this metaphor, it immediately changed the way I felt about myself. I felt less stressed, more relaxed; I felt closer to people. I didn’t have to be “perfect” or “better”. I began to have more fun, and my impact on people multiplied many-fold.

—Anthony Robbins

Source: Awaken The Giant Within (Anthony Robbins)

Further reading

• How To Have All Your Wishes Come True
• Do Pain And Pleasure Use You?
• Is Your Comfort Zone Killing You?
• What I Saw At The Graveyard
• The Magic Of Thinking Big

Today, I had a different experience from all those times I visited the grave in the past years.

As I looked at the huge graveyard, I saw hundreds of tombstones. They are all different in colour, design and size. But there’s one thing that is common. Each one represents a deceased person. Each represents someone who had once lived—someone who had once written a story called “My Life”.

I was thinking to myself: How did they look like when they were alive? What kind of persons were they? How did they live their lives? Did they struggle financially or did they live a carefree lifestyle? Were they once young, ambitious and energetic youngsters too? Did they enjoy what they were doing in life? What kind of dreams did they have back then?

And the question that stood out among the rest that struck my mind was: Did they bury together with them their unaccomplished dreams, their unattained goals, their passion, their ambition, their dignity and their self-worth?

I “saw” a new perspective towards life.

Life indeed is a journey. This journey is unique as it’s a single-way journey. There’s no “U-turn”, there’s no “Reverse” gear (or “Rewind”); there’s no “Pause”, no “Fast Forward”. Life is just that journey. That unique journey. In fact, you have only one chance to live through this journey—no second chances.

Imagine if there is a gigantic satellite camera that captures every single moment of your life in great detail, with narrations of what you were thinking at any moment, from the day you were born until today. All these pieces will be put together to compile a movie called “[Your Name]: My Life” with you being the main character. This movie will be broadcasted to the world after you exhaled your last breath. What kind of comment, feedback and/or review would you want to get for this movie of yours? How do you want to be remembered? Would you have made a difference in the world or impacted the lives of the people around you that your movie will be played over and over again to impact more lives, long after you’ve passed on?

Seriously, how would you like to be remembered? How would people describe you and your life? Really, take some time to think about it. How would your “movie” end?

As the famous Dr. Stephen R. Covey put it wisely: “Begin with the end in mind.” And as the saying goes, “If you know how you want to die, you’d know how to live.”

The good news is: you’re still alive and the film is still rolling to capture the rest of your life. In fact, you are the director, producer, main character and scriptwriter of this movie. How will the story go from here?

You take it from here.

Don’t be a “walking dead” who merely exists in this world without a purpose in life. Life—just like any event—has a beginning and an end. What happens in between is up to you to put meaning to it. Give your life one great meaning. What would it mean in the future that you once lived in this world? Are you going to be remembered as a warrior who fights for your own destiny or a weakling who submits to the circumstances in life? You have every right to choose the kind of life you want to live and how it’s going to end. You know you have the unlimited potential to realise your dreams in this life. What’s more urgent is that you get to live this life just once. One life, one chance. All you need to do is to make a DECISION to take control over the rest of the “movie” and start shaping your destiny.

“It is in your moment of decision that your destiny is shaped.”—Anthony Robbins

I wish you true success and freedom; to live life with great dignity and passion.

Be blessed.

Further reading

• How To Have All Your Wishes Come True
• Do Pain And Pleasure Use You?
• Our Time On Earth
• The Magic Of Thinking Big
• Dying Professor’s Last Lecture

If you’re finding that the very computer on which you do your work has becoming a big distraction, here’s a piece of essay by Paul Graham that might be helpful:

“Procrastination feeds on distractions. Most people find it uncomfortable just to sit and do nothing; you avoid work by doing something else.”

Read more here

Further reading

• 13 Tips For A Better Workout

Almost everyone I know are discussing, angry or complaining about the recent increase in petrol price in Malaysia. People are already contemplating to get by the increasing cost of transportation by suggesting various means such as car-pooling, buying a fuel-saving car, taking public transportations, or even cycling to work. Well, I must say that these are valid moves to reduce our daily expeneses. BUT… how long can we continue doing this to keep reducing our standard of living? This is a defensive financial approach towards our personal finances.

There is another way.

We should start taking the offensive financial approach instead, so that we will not be cornered at the end of the day, only to realize that we are in a serious state of financial disaster.

There are a lot of highly paid people who are still poor, or are drown in debts and high monthly commitments. They are not incapable people. In fact, most of them are at managerial levels or running a group of salespeople.

The main reason that had led to many people’s poor financial lives is that they are trading time with money.

Look around. What are those basic living expenses which had increased in price since the past 5 to 10 years? Are there any of your monthly expenses which had been increasing steadily within the past 5 to 10 years? How much had they increased? How much more do you think they will increase?

The only way we can keep coping up with the ever increasing cost of living while maintaining or increasing our standard of living, is to be offensive in our financial approach, and not to be defensive all the time.

www.myunlimitedincome.com

Be different. Be respected.
Be a Platinum Networker.

* Source: The Star Online

Further reading

• The Difference
• 4 Steps To Getting Richer