Cheanu's Official Blog » freedom

Do Pain And Pleasure Use You?

Cheanu — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 21:13:56 +0000

“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.”

—Anthony Robbins

Today, in one of my weekly trainings, I shared about the Pain-Pleasure Principle (PPP) that was popularised by Anthony Robbins. The PPP explains that all decisions and choices that we make in life are motivated by either:

gaining the pleasure of; or
avoiding the pain of not

making those decisions and choices.

Think about it. You’ve made the choice of getting into that job, relationship or business at some point in time. You did it probably because of the promises you saw in it. Or you probably did it because of the pain of not having it. Either way, you were motivated by the PPP.

In the training today, I asked the participants what were the motivating factors (pleasure) behind their reasons to want to achieve success in life. Most shouted out the promises of having more time and money freedom, the sense of achievement and the ability to leave a legacy for their generations to come. I then asked them about what were the pain of not achieving success. They shouted even louder this time. “Being looked down at”, “Being criticised”, “Tarnished reputation”, “Being broke”, “Feeling like a loser” etc. were just some of the most common reasons.

“People change only when they hurt enough that they have to, learn enough that they want to, or receive enough that they are able to.”

—John C. Maxwell

Personally, I believe that one of the ways to use pain and pleasure effectively is to:

list down in a piece of paper all the pleasure you will gain from making that decision or choice and taking the necessary actions; and
on another piece of paper, list down all the pain you will get for NOT taking the necessary actions and thus not having the results you desired.

The first list will be your source of motivation and willpower. Look into this list whenever you feel that you are about to breakdown or give up. These are your intentions—your very reasons for doing what you’re doing.

The second list will be your source of urgency. Look into this list whenever you feel like you’re not fast enough in achieving your results, or stagnant. Many people completely ignore this list because they fear being reminded of the things in this list so they can avoid taking actions and thus avoiding the responsibilities to make things happen. But we all know that we owe it to ourselves to create what we want in life, and no one else.

If it’s to be, it’s up to me.

You only have one life in this lifetime. Own it. Live it. Make it the best life you’ve ever had in this lifetime.

What I “Saw” At The Graveyard

Cheanu — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 13:04:43 +0000

I just came back from paying respect to my ancestors. This is the time of the year when we get together with our fellow family members to pay respect to our ancestors. It’s called the “Qing Ming” Festival.

Today, I had a different experience from all those times I visited the grave in the past years.

As I looked at the huge graveyard, I saw hundreds or tombstones. They are all different in colour, design and size. But there’s one thing that is common. Each one represents a deceased person. Each represents someone who had once lived—someone who had once written a story called “My Life”.

I was thinking to myself: How did they look like when they were alive? What kind of persons were they? How did they live their lives? Did they struggle financially or did they live a carefree lifestyle? Were they once young, ambitious and energetic youngsters too? Did they enjoy what they were doing in life? What kind of dreams did they have back then?

And the question that stood out among the rest that struck my mind was: Did they bury together with them their unaccomplished dreams, their unattained goals, their passion, their ambition, their dignity and their self-worth?

I “saw” a new perspective towards life.

Life indeed is a journey. This journey is unique as it’s a single-way journey. There’s no “U-turn”, there’s no “Reverse” gear (or “Rewind”); there’s no “Pause”, no “Fast Forward”. Life is just that journey. That unique journey. In fact, you have only one chance to live through this journey—no second chances.

Imagine if there is a gigantic satellite camera that captures every single moment of your life in great detail, with narrations of what you were thinking at any moment, from the day you were born until today. All these pieces will be put together to compile a movie called “[Your Name]: My Life” with you being the main character. This movie will be broadcasted to the world after you exhaled your last breath. What kind of comment, feedback and/or review would you want to get for this movie of yours? How do you want to be remembered? Would you have made a difference in the world or impacted the lives of the people around you that your movie will be played over and over again to impact more lives, long after you’ve passed on?

Seriously, how would you like to be remembered? How would people describe you and your life? Really, take some time to think about it. How would your “movie” end?

As the famous Dr. Stephen R. Covey put it wisely: “Begin with the end in mind.” And as the saying goes, “If you know how you want to die, you’d know how to live.”

The good news is: you’re still alive and the film is still rolling to capture the rest of your life. In fact, you are the director, producer, main character and scriptwriter of this movie. How will the story go from here?

You take it from here.

Don’t be a “walking dead” who merely exists in this world without a purpose in life. Life—just like any event—has a beginning and an end. What happens in between is up to you to put meaning to it. Give your life one great meaning. What would it mean in the future that you once lived in this world? Are you going to be remembered as a warrior who fights for your own destiny or a weakling who submits to the circumstances in life? You have every right to choose the kind of life you want to live and how it’s going to end. You know you have the unlimited potential to realise your dreams in this life. What’s more urgent is that you get to live this life just once. One life, one chance. All you need to do is to make a DECISION to take control over the rest of the “movie” and start shaping your destiny.

“It is in your moment of decision that your destiny is shaped.”—Anthony Robbins

I wish you true success and freedom; to live life with great dignity and passion.

Be blessed.

You Deserve A Second Chance

Cheanu — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 09:51:02 +0000

Almost everyone started studying for a particular profession at age 18-20.

90% of them chose to work at the profession that they studied for. And 90% of those 90% continue working in that particular profession without feeling satisfied with their career.

Why? The reason is that most people don’t work out of their own passion. They work because of money. While money can solve most of their financial problems, they don’t feel satisfied because there is no happiness in their lives. There’s no sense of fulfilment in their lives.

I studied for accountancy when I was 16 years old. After I graduated from high school, I went straight to pursue my diploma in accountancy and then my ACCA professional degree. I ended up working as an accountant at age 23.

I started to look at the lifestyle of my bosses who were at the top of the career path that I was pursuing. It didn’t impress me at all. They still had to work their lives off with even more commitment and responsibilities, that comes with greater overtime and over the weekend working. I understood that if I were to continue working my life off, I’d have lost my life, my time, my friends, my health and eventually having a lifestyle that didn’t impress me at all! After 18 months of working my life off, I’ve decided to take a second look at my career, and ultimately my destiny.

I realized that my decision to work as an accountant was based on my past education—I studied for accountancy. As I looked deeper into it, I realized that my past decision to study for accountancy was based on two things: a) my high school teacher thought that I had a potential in accountancy because of my good grades in accountancy back then; and b) a diploma in accountancy was one of the cheaper options among all professional qualifications—and my family was not doing well financially, back then.

Of course, as I was more matured and more aware of the real world out there, I could make a better and clearer decision than when I was just 18 and decided to study for accountancy. I’ve made a move to leave the accountancy industry—and I eventually left the whole employment industry. The great feeling of satisfaction and fulfilment is beyond words as I wake up in the morning, not feeling pressured and obliged to report to work and getting stuck in doing things which are out of alignment with my passion in life.

On the other hand, being able to wake up and enjoy life with time freedom on my side is a blessing. I’d like to help others who want a way out from their unsatisfied daily routine. I want to see a world full of free men and women who are able to live their lives to the fullest, to pursue their own passion in life.

Give yourself a second chance. You are matured enough today to re-evaluate the life path you’ve had set forth for yourself yesterday. Go towards your passion. You will live a life of satisfaction and fulfilment.

It’s a big beautiful world out there. You don’t want to stay stuck in one spot in an office for a few decades without realizing how much you have not experienced, discovered and explored in this life.

What are your dreams? You only have one life. Why not realize your dreams in this life?

Be blessed.